set free

Heartbreak leads to inspiration, but it's what you make of it that can change your life.

Out of this hurt came new life. Sins once darkened, now washed to white. Forgiveness leads to blessing. Tears changed to innocent laughter. This once broken heart made whole again and joy has returned. Forgiveness brought life from death and set me free. It has renewed my hope and challenged me to be someone better. It took me losing something important to realize what is really precious and WHO really matters. In God I have found blessing and contentment. These battle scars are merely reminders of how far I have come.

This may hurt...

We are a faithless generation.

Fumbling through life without any goals, living for the moment without vision, and chasing after temporary gains. I too am guilty of this. It's all too easy to be swept away by the savory desires of the world. But really what are we doing? Leaving God out of the picture for our future. Our focus is on everything BUT God, and we are left standing there wondering what to do. In this subtle decay, our words have lost value, the truth has been watered down and is barely recognizable. Constantly skeptical of who tells the truth, who you can believe, who to trust. We have lost faith in God, lost faith in others, and lost faith in ourselves. We cut ourselves down for what we are worth. We don't give people credit for hard work. And we don't live in faithful submission to God. How much would the world be different if we put God first? Surely, we wouldn't have all the problems we have now. It's not to late for me and you, to get it right. Sit and reflect on all the things you do, what is your motives? Are you following God's voice or simply doing whatever feels right at the moment? I grieve the lost of my childlike faith. But here I am, facing the world with all my hurts and scars, looking for purpose and straining to hear God's voice amidst the noisy chaos of the world. Where are you standing? Are you lost in the world? Are you living out your faith?

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:2-3

Grace

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I can't count how many times in my life, when I go through hard times and trials, that I rely solely on my own strength. Trying to so how make the situation better or resolve the issues presented, instead of relying on God's grace. How often do I forget to ask, accept and acknowledge God's grace in the situations that I can't overcome. Instead I slowly sink to the bottom, fighting with my own strength. And I wonder why it fails and why life isn't fair, why is feel so disappointed and tired. It's really rather simple, yet I have such a hard time giving it over to God. Then, in the end I have become weaker in my own strength, and the situation doesn't bring glory to God. It's time to learn another lesson. Grow up. Give it to God. Leave it alone. God's grace covers it. You can't change time, life is hard, God's grace gets you through.

something new

I retired my journal today. The pages filled. I fell in love in this book, and lost it amongst its pages. It was a journey of my last three years. Hundreds of words have followed these changes. I have laughed and cried throughout the sheets of paper. It is time to close that chapter of my life. Replaced the worn and broken bound book with a new untainted one. This leather case shall carry on another legacy in my mind. Filled with thoughts and words. Poems and songs. Time will tell the words embracing these sheets. This is my life. This is my book. For no one but myself.

change...

There has been so much change going on. I hate the word 'change' now that Obama was overused it. Its lost its meaning. But anyways, I was running today and thinking about everything in my life that I didn't expect to be change over time, and yet it has. People come and go, values shaken, jobs aren't stable. The world changes. People change. I've changed. But God never does. He remains the same no matter how far we run, when we forget what we stand for. He is always right there, where He has always been. I normally don't like change, it scares me. Because with change, I may fail at the new adventure and I don't know what to expect. However, I am learning to embrace each new improvement or degradation as a way to grow. Its not always fun. It can be draining and stressful, but in the end the 'change' is positive. Its all about how you see it.

What are the things in your life, that you didn't expect them to change? What was your reaction?

Life like ocean waves, come and go as it pleases.

Never exactly the same way, but it is consistent.

Don't let your life wash away. Learn from each wave.

We are like leaves on a tree.

We grow and take shape.

Change colors with different seasons.

And when it is our time, the wind blows us into eternity.


So I found out that my mental health teacher from this semester unexpectedly passed away this weekend. She was 51. Life is short, you never know when the winds will blow.

The college called me a few weeks ago and asked me to teach this guide study gig, I meet with the teacher, make a lesson plan, and then work with the beginning nursing students. Should be interesting, at least it will keep the info fresh. I just have to balance my time, between working about 30-40 hrs at work, school, and now the new job. And trying to have a life. Thankfully the weather is starting to warm up again, gonna start running this week again, I miss it.

I am so thankful for the new opportunities that God has given me and I am excited about the future.

All you need is love..

I enjoy listening to Missy Higgins' music. One day while I was listening to her and other similar artists on Pandora (which I also like) I realized that all these songs were about love. Some kind of search for love. Songs about being in love, songs about finding love, songs about losing love. Love. Love. Love. And then I realized everyone is seeking some illusive form of love. When all they need is LOVE that has been waiting for them to receive it. I mean, I too, have been caught up in this game, when I should be focused on God's love. It was kinda depressing. All these people have been blinded, and inspiring other people to be blinded too.
I was blind, but now I see.

So wake up and see that Someone wants to show you real love. It can never be lost, won, or bought. Stop focusing on yourself. Love God. Songs of His perfect love with flow from your heart in sweet melody. Everyone has experienced that feeling of excitement, when butterflies rise in your stomach, when all you think about is that person. When you long to spend time and learn more about the other. Do you feel that way about God? When you hear His name, does it make you happy? Love is not just a feeling, it is choice. Sometimes it comes quietly, sometimes you have to fight for it. So what in your life do you love? What shouldn't you love? What you are fighting for?

"Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, and with ALL your soul, and with ALL your mind, and with ALL strength." Mark 12:30