this moment

What I have learned about love

It is not some fiery display of passion and lust.
It is that exchanged moment when two souls unite.
When you look into their eyes, and you see your other half.
And from that moment, you can't exist without the other.
Never unequally dependent, but rather two lives travelling in one movement.
That is when true love starts.


I am not idlely waiting for you. Each step I moves me closer to you. My soul waiting for that moment to love you.

Whose eyes are you looking into? Your soulmate or your distraction?

A letter...

Dear world,
Its about time I tell you this. You can’t fool me anymore. I was blind and naïve, I didn’t realize you were subtly cutting off pieces of me. As if trying to change me from a square peg to fit into your round black hole of ideals. I gave you little pieces of me, to make you happy; but it left me hurt and misshaped. I thought that is what I wanted, but now I realize that isn't me. You can’t change me, God made me this way. All your ploys that make that round black hole appealing won’t work on me. What you offer is not what I want. I have all I need. Please take your fake ideals somewhere else. Goodbye.

Sincerely,
Katie

Be Pretty

Be Pretty

Each new season of life, brings change and new growth.

New flowers and fruit produced by your actions.

Sometimes, they are beautiful creations, and other you may want to hide.

Stop and take a look at the garden. Your life. What do you see?

Beauty, light, joy, love or dark tangled vines taking over, blocking out light?

Let God be your gardener, weed out the negative things in your life.

Make room for Him, let Him create a masterpiece. You.

Life goes on...

I have been so busy lately, haven't had time to post anything...

I was scrolling through my itunes yesterday and came across Jeremy Camp. I haven't listened to him in forever. As I was listening to the CD and doing my devos. This song struck my heart.

My desire.

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside

You want to be someone laying down your pride

You want to be someone someday

Then lay it all down before the king

You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside

You want to have virtue and purify your mind

You want to be set free today

Then lay it all down before the King

This is my desire, this is my return

This is my desire to be used by You

You want to be real, you want to be emptied inside

And I know my heart is to feel You near

And I know my life

It's to do Your will

It's to do Your will

This is my desire, this is my return

This is my desire, to be used by You

This is my desire, this is my desire

To be used by You

All my life I have seen

Where You've taken me

Beyond all I have hoped

And there's more left unseen

There's not much I can do to repay all You've done

So I give my hands to use

This is my desire, this is my return

This is my desire, to be used by You

This is my desire, this is my desire

To be used by You

Read through it, I know it seems long, but really read it. Is that your desire? Deep down inside? Is that what you crave more than anything in the world? I want to do God's will. I want to be used by Him. I've seen God's faithfulness in the past, but there is so much more yet to come. I want to be used for His glory, to spread His love. I have been set free to do His Will. It's more than just wanting something. It needs to be the very breath you breathe. Something you can't live without.

I don't want to go casually in life, I will live in the moment. I will be used by God. I look forward to the future. As unknown and uncertain as it may be. I pray it is more than all I have hoped for.

Be used too. You won't regret it.

White as snow...

I spent the majority of the day playing in the snow and eating. And I loved it! But, while I was sitting in the snow, enjoying the beautiful of the moment, I thought of God's love. God has forgiven my sins, and my heart is as white as the fluffy snow I was sitting in. All the sad and painful memories are washed away. Life hasn't turned out the way I wanted, I am so blessed that it hasn't. God's plans are more marvelous than I know. God has something extraordinary for you and me. What I had planned was nothing special. I don't know what is yet to come, but I have faith.

This is been such an interesting year so far, God has given me the strength to face the world, the courage to speak the truth, and forgiveness when I fail.

I want to be in tune with God's voice, in the midst of the loud chaos, I want to hear His voice and follow where He leads. I had felt for past few months to apologize to someone, though my friend was unaware of what I felt, I was burdened with it until I said something. I am relieved and have a clear conscious. Though, I don't know how the person took it, the truth will set you free. I had done my part, I spoke as God told me. So I am free to keep living, free to move on, free to follow God.

Do not despise the day of small beginnings....

After rainstorms comes blessings...

"If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ." 1 Pt 4:11

How many times have the words out of my mouth been hurtful and brought words of death? Too many. This verse has really convicted me. I pray that what I say will speak of God's love. God has given me strength to serve and love others, I just have to stop being so self-absorb so that I can see others in need and in pain. Lord, open my eyes so I can see the world as You do, and give me compassion to embrace it with love.

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." 1 Pt 4:12

Instead of wallowing in the painful past, face it with joy, God is revealing His glory to you. You are not alone in your struggles. I am in this place in my life for a reason, and when one trial is overcome, God gives me a new lesson. So that I can continually grow in Him and one day see His glory. Don't look at a painful trial as a negative sign, but see God's good in it. Though some may run and hide when it becomes too much. God's grace and love can get you through. Only with His grace, love and mercy, I am here today.

Though one day I will be forgotten, may God's light that shines through me never be.

During my devos this week, I came across a verse that really got me thinking. Here is the verse "Therefore I urge you to imitate me." In the context Paul is talking to the people of Corinth, telling them to watch what he does and copy him, so he can show them how to live like Christ.

So my thought is, would I want someone following me around and copying me? Would I want someone imitating my walk with God, in order to strengthen their relationship with Him. My first instinct is NO. That troubles me. I should be living my life, that I wouldn't care if people copy me, but I am not. The words out of my mouth don't always bring works of life, aren't always truth. I don't spend as much time with God as I would like. I have been doing a lot of mediating and reflecting on the things in my life that I need to change.

I want to live in such a way that others want to do as I do. I am no where close to that. When someone looks at me, I want them to see God's love. Its a big deal to have someone imitating you. Does your life reflect what you want it to? People are watching, do you like what they see? This is a great opportunity for me to continue to grow. Yay for new opportunities and chances, God's grace covers my faults.



On a side note: I have come to the realization that people who say they are still young and just want to have fun and aren't pursuing any purpose to life, are perpetually putting off responsibility to grow up. You never know how long you have on earth, so don't put off what you can do now.